- Vicky Lathum (Tara Reid) in American Pie
Dear Older Me,
He was just so charming, and kept saying how I had killer legs, and how he wanted to photograph them.
Love, Teenage you.
Dear Teenage Me,
Of course. Of course he was charming. Of course he said you had killer legs. And of course he said he wanted to photograph them. Because that’s what those kind of men say. They tell you you’re beautiful and then slowly they start to say things like: ‘oh, but if you did this… changed this… wore this… you’d be even more beautiful.’ And you do it. And when you do you lose a piece of your beautiful beautiful self. So please, PLEASE listen to me when I tell you to STAY AWAY from the ones who say shit like that. Trust me. You don’t need to learn the hard way why they are BAD NEWS because I already have for you. And I can save you so. much. TIME.
Men like that build you up to put you down because they don’t know how to tell you that you amaze them and scare them with how amazing you are. They only know how to make you think you’re not enough because they’re not enough and they don’t want you finding out who they really are, because, and it’s worth saying it one more time… THEY ARE NOT ENOUGH. They are not enough for someone as WONDERFUL AS YOU.
You are SO MUCH MORE than just enough. You are filled with happiness and joy and love for other people and love for life itself that when properly accepted makes you contribute something so SO beautiful to the world. You are kind and you are funny and you are so smart! Please, hold onto the knowledge that you deserve everything the world has to offer and MORE. Don’t let any man tell you that you need to change or that you should let him do something that you may think you want to do but deep down know you don’t.
I want you to look at yourself. Are you looking? Really looking? OK. Now, choose the thing about yourself that you hate the most. If I remember correctly at this age you HATED the little hairs that grew on your big toes. You hated them because you were worried about what the guys would say if they saw them. Because they’re not ‘feminine’ even though their evolutionary purpose is most fucking likely to be keeping you warm as a mother so that you can protect your child properly from our cave woman days… I mean how much more feminine can you get than that?! Anyway, I’m getting carried away. So, I want you to look at those little hairs and see them as a symbol. I want you to say to yourself ‘when I find someone who will look at these little hairs with me and laugh at them, laugh at the fact that I get worried about them and then tell me that they would love me no matter HOW hairy my toes are, I will know that they are someone worth giving my love to.’
Because your love is PRECIOUS and I know that you have a lot of it to give. So... SAVE IT. Save it and give it to someone who melts inside when they look at you. Save it for the person who somehow manages to make time stand still when you kiss them. Save it for someone who tells you that you amaze them and that you scare them with how much they love you. And until then? Keep it for YOURSELF. Love YOURSELF. Treat YOURSELF the way you want your soulmate to treat you because if you don’t that's how the worms who say shit like 'you've got killer legs, I want to photograph them' get into your mind and sometimes even get into your soul. Like attracts like. So, love yourself honestly and intensely and the person you attract will love you in the same way.
You have your whole life ahead of you. You even start to figure a lot of it out when you get to the end of your twenties (well… some days), so take it from me when I say you are a fucking unicorn amongst horses. You are a unicorn and you are fucking magic. Wait for another unicorn because you ARE a unicorn. So, don’t let any horse tell you something different.
Love, Slightly Older and Wiser You.