- Christiane Felscherinow (Natja Brunckhorst) in Christiane F
HOW CAN YOU ESCAPE
THE ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM
WHEN YOU YOURSELF ARE THE ELEPHANT?
Skin translucent, stretched like well-loved chewing gum over the bones. I lightly tap on my ribs in the dark, humid, duvet womb, noticing how every day the sound wriggles closer and closer to that of fingers drumming on a wooden structure wearing a thin table cloth. A sign that life can soon be allowed to begin.
The duvet womb smells strongly of low-calorie, low-carbohydrate, low-sugar, low-taste energy bars which I eat only at the times when I become the living manifestation of Edward Munch’s «The Scream». Bless me father for I am such a gluttonous gross fuck.
My longing for my arch enemy to blow his horn and make the fatty brigade he has strategically placed all underneath my skin surrender and evaporate is second to no other earthly desire.
«African children in charity adverts, homeless people engulfed by icy winds huddled up under flimsy pieces of cardboard and moth-eaten blankets, not knowing when the next meal is going to be, the people fasting for religious reasons, models addicted to heroin …they’re all so skinny. At least they have that. Such goals» I think.
A numb fear of being booted out of high school inspires me to withdraw from my womb together with a random and most often wrong selection of school books on a twice weekly basis.
As I sit in class I come to a conclusion that frankly doesn’t surprise me much; I’m an elephant, the elephant in the room. A capital letter in bold, font size 72, amongst minuscule letters, font size 9. A walking bag of lard, awkwardness, big bones and baggy intestines I’m sure I will be able to shrink if I just stay a little longer inside that womb and inspect photos of heroin chic.
I can be anything I want with the exception of the president of United States, but I don’t get to be anything until I’m a gorgeous, glowing skeleton.
Keep your eyes on the prize and hands off the fries.
WHY YOU’RE NOT AN ELEPHANT
AND ALSO, IF YOU’RE AN ELEPHANT
THAT’S FUCKING GREAT CAUSE
You’re allowed to take up the exact amount of space you’re taking up physically (and mentally and socially!). You are the many short strands of hair on your head that 100% of the time wants to point at the moon regardless of the amounts of hairspray you try to flatten them with, all the way down to your black varnish-painted toenails. That’s all you, homo sapiens, and it is great.
Your body needs zero modification. Zero. Period. All it needs is self-love, self-respect, food, drinks, fresh air, soft kisses from someone you’re mad about, hilarious and supportive friends, badass goals and projects - and the odd spa session at home to loud tunes.
LOTS of things tastes as good as thin feels. Like fries. And cheese toasties. And Snickers. Eat them.
Really skinny people are fantastic and beautiful, Larger people are fantastic and beautiful. People who are grumpy with a sense of humor as desolate as Dungeness because they haven't eaten anything but two low-calorie bars in two days are not.
You can be anything you want to be. Certain factors can come into play making it more or less challenging, but you can, you really can. Great ideas can only grow and thrive in bodies that have been properly fed though. So eat.